“Most parents, when they see children not terrorized by the things that terrorize them, they work very hard until they’ve finally got you terrorized. They teach you those irrational fears. Well-meaning, but they do just the same.”
As I read this quote two things occurred to me. It is true! And, we could probably substitute the word People for Parent and again People for Children.
I remember talking to my son when he was around 15/16 ears old and just beginning to experiment with some “reckless” behaviours. At one point in our conversation he stopped me, looked at me and said, “Dad, I’m not you.” Of course he was right. Those four words fundamentally changed my parenting. In that moment I stopped being his teacher and became his supporter. I became his fan.
What if we were to substitute the word People for Parent and Children? I think we might notice that we often have an innocent interest in wanting someone to see what we see or believe what we believe. Maybe we think it would help them if they did. A lack of belief in an others wholeness, could this also be a form of terrorizing?
“Yes, you can!” This was our motto at the gym I used to own. Can’t do a pull up. That’s ok, can you hang from the bar for 5 seconds? “Yes, I can!” There is ALWAYS a “Yes, you can.”
One of the things I love about coaching is the honour that comes in holding “Yes, you can” in the moments a customer may have forgotten. Nothing to teach, nothing to worry about.