Never Judge a Book by its Cover

Never Judge a Book by its Cover. 

Working with Brian
I was an early teenager when I read somewhere that service/humility/humbleness was a pathway to awakening in some religious traditions. I may not have that right, and it doesn’t matter, but lessons in all three were coming as the next step on my journey to what ultimately led to my becoming a coach.

Various profound experiences and encounters have shaped my journey towards coaching.

Among them was working as a PSW for a year while taking a break from University. I no longer remember how I ended up working as a PSW for, we will call him Brian, but it was some of the most satisfying and humbling work I ever did, and I remember it fondly.

I was responsible for getting Brian to school, picking him up again, making snacks/dinner, doing homework together and looking after him until his parents got home from work. He lived close, so the morning routine was straightforward. I would show up at his house and accompany him to school. He was in his chair, and I walked with him, sometimes assisting depending on whether he was in his motorized chair. On the way, we would talk about whatever came up, but mostly, we spoke about things important to a twelve-year-old—school, sports and, unsurprisingly, girls.

After School Adventure
It was in the afternoons that the job revealed its lessons. The mornings were straightforward: walking and talking and saying goodbye. The afternoons were always an adventure and where I learned lessons that would ultimately contribute to the way I have come to see individuals in the world.

School ended at 3:20, and Brian’s parents were home for six if I remember correctly. With only a short walk home from school, that left us a good bit of time together, and Brian was not one to sit idle. Our initial routine was the same: get home, bathroom, snack/dinner homework and whatever Brian wanted until his parents got home.

It would be too easy to get explicit about the procedure of manipulating a twelve-year-old with no lower body control on and off a toilet, the cleaning we all take for granted, and the lessons therein. Instead, there is one after-school adventure that stands out.

Brian wanted to go to the mall to return something. Whereas the school was close, eight minutes or so if memory serves, the mall was an adventure, and it began with how hot it was as we walked almost 45 minutes to get there. Brian was in his nonmotorized chair, and to this day, I still marvel at the fortitude and sheer will he displayed that day. I remember having difficulty keeping up with him as he wheeled himself. I witnessed a determination I had not seen since, able-bodied or otherwise.

Don’t Judge a Book by its Cover
That walk to the mall and back was the beginning of my realization and understanding that all of us, no matter our condition or disposition, were more than what we appeared to be on the outside. It was the beginning of seeing that there was more to us than meets the eye. It was the beginning of the opening of a world of equal opportunity, regardless of how it might look when looking only at the surface of one another. As I learned to look deeper, I saw an equality of spirit and possibility permeating us.